July 23, 2001
Soul Searching and
Acceptance
“Accept
your limitations . . . then move beyond them.”
Caption from a poster by an unknown author
accept: 1: to endure without protest 2: to receive as true
Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary
One of the most rewarding parts of writing the Awaken
Weekly Message is hearing from so many people.
I don’t know everyone who writes to me as the readership increases, and
even those who I thought I knew, sometimes reveal a side of themselves that I
have never seen before.
A few weeks ago I received a quick note from a former
business colleague that reminded me of the quote above. In part he wrote, “Hope
all is well, I'm in some kind of soul searching mindset these days, not sure if
I like what I see, not being as scholarly, spiritual or committed as you, I
don't know if I'm even getting anywhere …”
I used to do some motivational speaking on the process of
personal goal setting. My approach
to the subject was different than most speakers or authors who addressed the
same subject. They would simply
begin the process by defining what characteristics goals should have; i.e. they
should be measurable, obtainable, etc. I
felt that preparing your mind (and today I would include your soul) to get you
in touch with what really mattered to you and then evaluate what would have to
change for you to achieve your dreams (or purpose). Based on that vision, then set goals that were emotionally
charged to be successful (or at peace).
One of the major steps for my process included acceptance.
Too many people I had observed where trying to move forward with their
lives without giving pause to do an assessment of how they got to the place they
were today. Worse yet, they would
not surrender to (endure without protest) or believe (receive as true) the
circumstances of where they were at this place and time and their role in how
they got there.
I had discovered the quote above on a poster that hung on
the ceiling at my dentist’s office. It
summed up the aspect of acceptance in the process beautifully.
If we consider our spiritual quest as a process, then acceptance is also
relevant with matters of the soul. If
we are afraid to look deep within ourselves and accept who we are at this point
in time and the role we played in getting there, how will we ever take charge of
our own destiny? If we do not
accept our current circumstances, even those that are not of our own doing, then
we tend to think of ourselves as victims that have no control of own lives.
In order to get to acceptance we must do some “soul
searching” as my good friend puts it in his note. That may not always be a pleasant experience, but
congratulations if you do it because many people go through life without truly
searching. Searching implies you
are seeking something that typically has value.
The process can be frustrating and even disheartening, but you must
remember that this is the work of your true purpose.
Another friend of mine, an executive in the entertainment
business wrote of his own self-evaluation and the transformation that followed. “I've
had an interesting transformation over the last few years, especially once I had
kids. …I'm not as obsessed with the job as I once was. I really like what I do
and I do it to the best of my ability (that may not be saying much), but I don't
define myself by it as much as I used to. I like having a more balanced life. It
keeps me grounded. Frankly, I think that's the difference between those of us
who toil for a living and those who have gone on, or on the way to becoming,
"moguls". I've worked with "moguls". The majority of them
have no balance in their lives. Most have neglected their families (although
they've showered them with material possessions to "make it up to
them"). On the other hand, they've become very successful, powerful and
wealthy. To each his own.”
So I would say well done to you who feel that your soul
searching is yielding things that you are not pleased with or comfortable with.
It means that you are touching your soul and evaluating your priorities.
Then if you choose to make changes you are making them with purpose and
moving beyond what you saw as limitations.
With respect, acceptance, and
love,