October 1, 2001
Intention vs. Expectation
People
who live on purpose with purpose are not interested in standing out in the
crowd. That may happen, but it is
not why they do what they do. When
you live with intention, your primary focus is the process rather than the end
result. Expectation-driven people
go for the goal no matter what. No
matter how frustrating it gets or how out of sync with their Wheel of Freedom
[Essential Nature, Proactive Behavior, Wholeness, Self-affirming Behavior].
The achievement of the goal becomes the priority because they think that
determines their value and worth.
Living in intention through acceptance,
responsibility, proactive choice, and the willingness to be ordinary, will move
fear aside and allow intuition to surface.
All of those skills teach us to be inner focused and aware of who we are
becoming. That is powerful. That
changes lives.
There
are no guarantees when living in intention except one.
Intention gives you the gift of being centered in your self, being able
to pick yourself up no matter what. It’s
relying on the qualities of being that you have claimed as your own through your
understanding of the Wheel of Freedom. With
intention, love still may not last forever, but you now see that when you move
out of judgment, there seems to be more love around you than you had previously
thought. Success is no longer a
byproduct of what you do, but rather it is determined by who you are.
Fearless
Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten
My
biggest disappointments in life have come from unfulfilled expectations.
In my business life, I have often fallen into the trap of expecting hard
work and creativity to translate into both emotional and financial rewards.
Years later, I can look back on certain situations from an intellectual
perspective and understand that the purpose or intention of my job performance
offered the true reward, self-fulfillment.
It is not that goals are a bad thing, but we should examine the intention
behind the goal when seeking satisfaction.
When
I have projected my expectations on others it has rarely, if ever, provided
anything that even remotely resembles fulfillment. For those of us with children, it is a distinction that must
be recognized if we are to find harmony in that blessed relationship.
Being mindful that my intention is to be a caring, supportive, and
accepting parent helps me not to focus on the choices my children make even when
those choices are not to my liking. Looking
at parent/child relationships, regardless of age, this seems to be a lesson that
many parents never learn.
This
past week I delivered a tribute or eulogy to honor a close friend who died after
battling cancer. He was only in his
early 50’s and he had so many things to look forward to.
I spoke, however, about our frequent visits over the past seven months
and how my friend did not dwell on what he “wished” he had done, but
reminisced about what he did. He
did not wish, wait for, or hope for a future time, but lived life with
intention.
In Britten’s book quoted above, she relates the world of expectation to fear.
She defines fear as “both the cause and effect of the feelings,
thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from accepting yourself and realizing
your full potential… To help you stay safe, fear motivates you to hide your
essential nature by thwarting your ability to express yourself truthfully.”
Britten believes that there is a “Wheel of Fear” [Trigger, Fear
Response, Negative Feeling, Self-Destructive Behavior] that many of us can find
ourselves on. When we live in a
world of expectations that influence the way we think, speak, and listen,
disappointment becomes a way of life. Expectations
may change, but ultimately it is just fear manifesting itself.
Soul
work is no different than the work we do as part of our career.
We must understand that it is the process or journey that is most
important when it comes to matters of the soul.
Having expectations that are driven by goals and based on fear is not the
path to Enlightenment or God. If
our intention is to live life with an awakened soul to know ourselves and to
accept others, then we are prepared to receive the answers to life’s greatest
mysteries.
With respect, acceptance, and love,
Richard
© Richard D. Olson and Awaken The Soul, 2001; Edited by Janice E. Olson
Quotes
from: Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by
Rhonda Britten, Copyright 2001; Penguin Putnam