January 21, 2002
The Art of Aging
Many years ago when I was the president of the University
of Northern Colorado Alumni Association, my wife and I had the privilege of
attending the 50-year class reunion lunches during homecoming activities for two
consecutive years. During the
lunch, new members were inducted who were celebrating the fiftieth reunion and
they welcomed back prior members.
I served as the master of ceremonies and attended to the
business at hand that first year. My
wife Jan, on the other hand, was an observer of life. After the lunch and festivities were over, Jan immediately
began to discuss her observations. The
attendees were at least in their seventies, with a few well into their eighties.
What Jan became fascinated with was how differently they were all aging
and those that seemed to be aging the best, had some common characteristics.
Seated at the banquet tables were people who covered a
wide spectrum of vitality. Some
looked tired and worn and had little to say.
Others were so full of life that they shared stories of travel, hobbies,
and a host of adventures. The later
group actually looked so much younger than their less enthusiastic counterparts.
The following year, we both spent the majority of our
time first confirming the observations from the prior year and secondly making
mental notes about what the more “full of life” attendees talked about and
what they had done with their lives… thus far.
We knew then that we wanted to be part of that group when our fiftieth
college reunion rolled around.
Even though many years have passed, we will never forget
that experience. Imagine our
surprise and interest this past week when we listened to the author of a new
book, Aging Well, by George E. Vaillant, M.D.
His book is based on what might be the most comprehensive study on aging
ever done. The study was conducted
by Harvard University and followed 824 individuals beginning as teenagers and
has followed their development for over half a century.
The major findings that Dr. Vaillant has summarized are:
- It is not the bad things that
happen to us that doom us; it is the good people who happen to us at any age
that facilitate enjoyable old age.
- Healing relationships are
facilitated by a capacity for gratitude, for forgiveness, and for taking
people inside. (By this metaphor I mean becoming eternally enriched by
loving a particular person.)
- A good marriage at age 50
predicted positive aging at 80. But surprisingly, low cholesterol levels at
age 50 did not.
- Alcohol abuse — unrelated to
unhappy childhood — consistently predicted unsuccessful aging, in part
because alcoholism damaged future social supports.
- Learning to play and create
after retirement and learning to gain younger friends as we lose older ones
add more to life’s enjoyment than retirement income.
- Objective good physical health
was less important to successful aging than subjective good health. By this
I mean that it is all right to be ill as long as you do not feel sick. (1)
As I review this list, I find it no coincidence that many of the findings revolve around matters of the heart and of the soul.
With respect, acceptance, and love,
Richard
(To read an excerpt of the book, go to http://www.msnbc.com/news/687686.asp
and also visit the Awaken The Soul suggested reading page: http://awakenthesoul.com/readings.htm)
©
Richard D. Olson and Awaken The Soul, 2002; Edited by Janice E. Olson
(1) Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development, by George E. Vaillant, M.D., Copyright 2002,