June 10. 2002
Soul Mates? - An Open Letter To Janice
In
Honor Of Our 25th Wedding Anniversary
The soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected,
as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product
of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so
important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life. (1)
My dearest Janice,
We spoke recently about soul mates.
Being the romantic I am, I have often referred to us as soul mates.
You on the other hand, are much more practical and challenged me based on your
understanding of this term. The quote above
is from Thomas Moore’s book, Soul Mates. It is worthy to note that his use of soul mate is not exclusive to
romantic relationships, but also includes family and friends whom we share this sacred
bond with. Using Moore’s definition,
perhaps you are correct in your assertion.
Just because the term soul mate implies a relationship of destiny,
does not mean that two people who come together cannot have a soulful relationship, which
if honored, delivers the same life experiences that soul mates discover.
In fact, perhaps it is possible to become soul mates as two souls wed
over time.
I have chosen to share with you a few of Thomas Moore’s thoughts
on marriage and soulfulness. As I read these
passages and reflect on twenty-five years of being married and in love with you, I know
that ours has been a soulful relationship of the divine kind.
- Marriage is holy not only because it is a precious and
revered way of forming human lives, but also because it is a form of religion in
itself, a special way in which spirituality pours into life.
- Marriage is not only the expression of love between two
people, it is also a profound evocation of one of life's greatest mysteries, the
weaving together of many different strands of the soul.
Because marriage touches upon issues charged with emotion and connected to
absolute meaning, it is filled with paradoxical feelings, far-flung fantasies,
profound despair, blissful epiphanies, and bitter struggle -- all signs of the active
presence of soul.
- The distance between our intentions and expectations of
marriage on the one hand, and the reality it presents on the other, indicates how far
removed from consciousness and reason marriage can be.
Marriage has less to do with conscious intention and will than with deeper
levels of soul... We approach its soul when we understand that marriage is a mystery,
a sacrament, as some religions say -- a sacred symbolic act.
- Marriage is accomplished not only by human design and will,
but also by grace and magic.
- It follows that a particularly soulful marriage may look oddly individual, its forms and structures contrary to accepted patterns. When soulfulness appears in any human institution, it asks of us unusual tolerance and broad imagination.
- It's a simple thought: each relationship is unique.
We [must] toss away all generalizations and ideals, all expectations and
comparisons... When we honor
individuality, we are preparing a nest for the soul, and entryway. Norms, conventions and traditional expectations serve some other
interests and are foreign to soul's unique experiments.
Soulfulness and individuality go together, one fortifying the other.
Thomas Moore (1)
A soulful relationship is not one that is filled with constant
bliss, but one filled with an intimacy that two souls know when they share their human and
spiritual experience. Thank you for sharing
your soul and your love with me through all our experiences.
So you pick…soul mates or soulful relationship?
Either way, it has been incredible!
Love,
Richard
© Richard D. Olson and Awaken The Soul, 2002
(1) Soul Mates – Honoring the Mysteries of Love and
Relationship by Thomas Moore: Copyright 1994 HarperCollins Publishers