May 7, 2003
Redefining Myself
“Fear is
both the cause and effect of the feelings, thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from
accepting yourself and realizing your full potential.
Fear stands between you and your ability to go anywhere you like, do anything you
want, and meet anyone you please. To help you
stay safe, fear motivates you to hide your essential nature by thwarting your ability to
express yourself truthfully.”
Rhonda Britten – Fearless Living (1)
A week ago I put the finishing touches on
what I titled, Redefining Myself – A Stream Of Consciousness.
After a year of disappointments and broken promises, I decided to reclaim my life
and begin to push forward. It is still my
life and I am responsible for the outcome.
I have fallen victim to a world that seems
to be “on hold”, waiting for a magical moment when things will change.
This is no more evident than in the business world.
People have withdrawn from actively pursuing their vision and have gone into a
survival mode that fuels fear. Having been
through many business cycles, I understand the need to adjust and adapt.
This tactic should not, however, overshadow the ability to look forward.
All too often, the culture of the business is unknowingly changed to a point of no
return when people lose their sense and promise of the future.
This “on hold” mentality can relate to
other types of organizations and seems to be pervasive in individuals.
Personally I have been in this state for over a year now.
It started out harmless enough, but before I knew it, it became my lifestyle.
Periodically I would stick my head out of the water to try a few things, but I
would feel overwhelmed by the vast ocean of uncertainty that I surveyed and retreat below
the surface once again.
A few weeks ago I decided to do a personal
audit to see where I was and then maybe begin to formulate a realistic plan to restart my
life. I started with a list of “What Am I
Afraid Of”. Rhonda Britten has written a
wonderful book called Fearless
Living that I pulled off the shelf and began to reread.
My list of fears was honest and thus a little frightening.
After looking the list over, I asked myself, “What kind of life can I expect to
live if I am living in fear of these things?” The
answer was obvious. My quality of life had
become a reflection of my fears directing my actions.
Last year when our son took a skills class
in driver’s education, he learned that when you concentrate on an obstacle close to you,
there is a tendency to steer right into it. Rather,
he learned to focus a little further down the road to avoid immediate disaster.
There is a lesson here on how we should view the immediate obstacles in our life
and in business. By constantly focusing on
our fears, we can make what we fear most a reality.
So beginning to look forward, I made a
list of “How I Would Like It To Be”. It
wasn’t difficult to realize that I needed to go beyond my fears to get to where I wanted
to be. I found it interesting that this
second list was very different from one I would have done a few years ago.
This validated the notion that you can grow through adversity.
My next exercise was to do a personal
balance sheet. I made a list of personal
assets and personal liabilities. This was not
a financial exercise, but rather a list of qualities and attributes… both positive and
negative. As hard as I am on myself, I
concluded that I was not “bankrupt” (liabilities exceed assets) and could find ways to
lessen my liabilities.
Finally I made a list of “Things I Can
Do Now To Feel Better”. Using
my liabilities list and list of fears, I began to concentrate on ways that without
anyone’s help or any financial backing I could begin to take charge once again.
I was amazed at how easily I came up with a list of action items.
There is a saying that if you aren’t
moving forward you are going backwards. When
I look at people and businesses that have been “on hold”, the wisdom in this saying
becomes clear. I am choosing to press play on
the LIFE remote and get off pause. It has not
been easy thus far because in my business life as a consultant and speaker, I have to rely
on referrals. But I will seek ways to expand
my universe and find others who are ready to reengage in life, become fearless and
reawaken their souls.
With respect, acceptance, and love,
Richard
© Richard D. Olson and Awaken The Soul, 2003; Edited by Janice
E. Olson
Fearless
Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten, Copyright 2001; Penguin Putnam